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Buffalo's Soap Box: Fiber and Cells

Posted: May 03, 2009

To be honest, there isn’t much in life that I just can’t deal with. I’ve always been pretty easy to get along with, I believe. Of course, to be completely honest (and we all need more honesty in our lives, don’t we?) I find that as I get older, there are a few more things I find irritating than in the past. But all in all, I keep my cool pretty well. That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it!

Okay- so I do  have a few things that really rub me the wrong way, and my therapist wants me to voice them. Get it out of your system, she say. Okay, so I lied about the therapist. The closest I've come to therapy lately is watching In Treatment. I’m sorry, I promised to be honest.

First off, fiber filled mailers. In my  line of work, I get a truckload of packages, mostly CD’s and DVD’s that folks want reviewed. I guess 90% of them come packed in bubble paper, or the ever popular bubblemailer, but the other ten percent. God help me here - are packed in fiber filled mailers.

Now, there’s a strip on there that says “pull tab to open.” This is undoubtedly one of the most downright evil ploys ever perpetuated on mankind. You pull that little strip, and it’s like an explosion of fiber filling. It gets all over your clothing, the floor, your desk. The dust rises up into your nostrils, and you cough and sneeze. I know a high fiber diet is giood for you, but this is rediculous. Lord only knows what prolonged ingestion of this fiber dust does to your health. Two words people - “bubble mailer.”

I could write for days on end about cell phones. I guess the primary complaint I have is when I see people yapping on the phone and putting on lipstick or eating McNuggets while driving down the highway at 70 mph. Something about that just bothers me. Call me old fashioned. All I ask for is to see a law inacted  that if you’re on the phone, you are off on the shoulder or sitting in the parking lot at Cracker Barrel waiting on your number to be called. Now, I’m not sure, but I feel pretty confident that a rule like that would cut down on everything from fender benders to fatalities.

That’s enough griping for the moment. I’ll address my other pet  peeves later. For now, I gotta go. I’m on my way to the post office to mail out a bunch of fiber filled envelopes, and I ‘m writing this on my legal pad as I travel down I-85 at 75 mph, talkin’ on my cell and passing an 18-wheeler. Just kidding. I’m not passing an 18 wheeler.

Keep it Real. Keep it Southern.


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flashing lights says...

Everyone need a wholesale pen and all of us hold a wholesale umbrella in case of the bad weather, so they are good tools to promote your new brand. A stress ball is a good tool to release stress.

midnightrider says...

Funny stuff, Buff. My favorite articles are when you talk about what you like and dislike or what you have been doing. Good work!!

rebyll says...

ROTF!!!! I hear ya Brother. I really do. A young gal I used to work with a couple of years ago went to lunch and was going to take care of some business. Not a problem. She called 45 minutes later on the road from her cell phone to say she might be a couple of minutes late because her business took longer that she thought and she was eating a McDonalds salad!!!! I said "You're at McDonalds now?" She said "No!! I'm driving!!!" I asked "HOW!!!" She replied ..... no.... no.... wait for it....... "MY KNEE!!!!!!!!!"

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