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GRITZ Movie Reviews: Holiday Movie Reviews, Part One

THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL

Well, I was really looking forward to this one. A remake of the 1950’s Michael Reenie classic. The trailer got me going. It was excellent. Only thing is, you could actually watch the trailer and skip the movie, because all of the best scenes are in the trailer.

Keanu Reeves always gets these cool roles, like the Matrix series and all of that, but in The Day The Earth Stood Still, he is about as exciting as watching paint peel. Of course, that could make for an excellent, Spock-like, emotionless character in the right hands, but no - this one falls flat.

Maybe it was the far too ethereal space orb ship Klattu came to visit in. Maybe the fact that there was no chemistry where there should have been between his character and Jennifer Connely’s. Or maybe making Gort blow people to smithereens instead of evaporating their weapons detracted from the original concept.

I had high hopes, but alas, no one needs to stand, or sit, still for two hours of boredom.

TWO STARS

BABEWATCH: The only thing that kept me awake was hottie Jennifer Connely.

TWILIGHT

One of the hottest selling fiction series of the day gets it’s first movie, and the tweens and their moms go ape shit. The romantic story of a mortal high school babe who falls in love with the oldest 17 year old vampire you ever did see.

What amazed me was the virtual lack of blood spilling, the total lack of fangs, and the lack of a gratuitous sex scene - all of that, and it still works. Bravo!

I really enjoyed the movie a lot, and look forward to New Moon next year. I am especially interested in seeing how the werewolves play in.

FIVE STARS

BABEWATCH: The pretty Kristen Stewart as Bella Swan 'Twilight'

TRANSPORTER 3
Stephen King’s favorite action star Jason Statham returns as Frank Martin,  and Natalya Rudakova stars as his co-pilot Valentina, in another tale of the man who gets paid very well to deliver packages with no questions asked. Only this time, he has been fitted with a bracelet that will blow him to kingdom come if he moves fifty feet away from his automobile.

There’s some pretty cool action, but it’s nothing like the original, which I loved. And I really don’t like the “nervous camera” technique. That’s a fad I’d just as soon see go away.

Pretty cool, but Bond was better.

THREE STARS
 

AUSTRALIA

Two words, “too long.” Yes mate, this is a stellar motion picture starring Hugh Jackman and Nicole Kidman, but they really could have cut 45 minutes out of it. I men really.

It’s a good film. Beautiful scenery, great story line, good acting. Not exactly a chick flick, but darn close. Still, it comes across as a 1940's style Hollywood epic, and I can dig that.

FOUR STARS
 

BOLT

One of the best animated features of the past few years, Bolt is a highly entertaining film for young and old alike. The story of a Hollywood dog who has super strength in his weekly TV show. Only problem is, they let the doggie believe that he really does have super powers, and that the adventures rescuing his little girl owner are real. There in lies the problem.

There are great characters throughout, including Rhino the gerbil who is a hoot. I laughed until I cried.

FIVE STARS

FOUR CHRISTMASES

A hilarious comedy about a couple who gets stuck having to go to four sets of parents homes for the Holidays, including a rowdy Robert Duvall and his beefy sons, Sissy Spacek and her cradle robbed husband, and an array of other outcasts and misfits.

Reese Witherspoon is s beautiful as ever, even covered in baby vomit, and Vince Vaughn is a hoot as usual. If you like to laugh, this one is for you.

FIVE STARS

BABEWATCH: Reese Withwrspoon is a good ol' Southern gal who also happens to be a hottie.

-Reviews by Michael Buffalo Smith

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